Well, it’s only two days away. The end of the road. Senior day.
On one hand I’m glad. It has been a long four years and a long season and a break is always good. And it is good to know that I made it; I was able to finish what I started.
But this time it’s not a break. After Saturday my competitive soccer career is over. After Saturday the team that I have been a part of, that I have sacrificed for, that I have worked with and laughed with, that I have struggled with, will no longer exist. I will move on and in three more years none but maybe the coaches will remain.
Sure it will be nice having more free time….I guess. It will definitely be different not having soccer practice everyday; no list of skills to improve or goals to achieve. But it’s not so much the end of soccer that is hard for me.
The hard part is the end of the team. I’m sure there will be more soccer, probably pick up games and intramural leagues. But as anybody who has played knows, there is an aspect of a competitive team that cannot be replaced. Moreover, this team has been my “mission field” if you will, for the past four years and I have such a deep love for each individual on this team that sometimes it hurts. I know that might sound somewhat weird or creepy but it isn’t and I will explain.
This past summer our coach split our team into three groups to call and encourage one-another and keep each other accountable and that type of thing. Well, God put it on my heart to fast and pray for the five women in my group and so I did. I’m not saying this for my credit, but so that you can understand.
I have had the opportunity to see them through His eyes and see some of His plans for their lives. And then I got back to campus and was able to be with them everyday for the past 3 months and it has been so awesome and yet discouraging at the same time because they are not there yet.
After Saturday I will not see most of them on a regular basis and I just have to trust God on two things: the first is that He will cause the seeds of prayer to grow in their lives, and the second is that He loves them even more than I do. That His desires for them to know Him are stronger than my own. That one day they will be able to see True Love.
So this is it. The end of an era. And yes, it hurts. But I know that He will open up new doors for me and is calling me to new things. In Him will I trust.